Tuesday, December 28, 2010
In 2009 I was hospitalized the day after Christmas and we prepared to have 32 week preemie twins. Other than the fact that I was released after New Year's and the twins stayed put, the best part of the holidays was staying in NYC and not having to deal with my MIL.
This year, 2010, was supposed to be mine. Our first Christmas with Grunter and Whoop Whoop. The first Christmas as a new family. Instead, I was degraded and spoken rudely to by my MIL every single day--to the point that other family members were noticing and making comments about how rude she was being to me and she really should stop.
My MIL got drunk to the point of puking on both Xmas Eve and Xmas. She was of no help the following mornings in her non-child proofed house because she was so hung over.
She was often irritated with my babies because they were crying around her. Their cousin, Luke, is 10 days older and very chilled out. All we heard were comparisons to Luke-whom she favors-to the point I almost screamed to her that my boys aren't Luke and they never will be so just Shut Up. But I held my tongue. For three days I walked around avoiding her, emotionally and mentally "checked out" in order to protect myself.
And then came the blizzard. And we were stuck there another day.
Before we left Chicken agreed that if her mother was rude to me again, she would stand up for me. She did not.
I took the stockings off the mantle this morning and packed them in my suitcase. I don't know where we will be spending the holidays next year, but it won't be there.
My boys deserve better. They are the light and joy of my life. I want more for them. I deserve better.
We're thinking a nice holiday beach vacation next year.
Christmas in Mexico sounds lovely.
Even Christmas with my family would be great after this and that's saying ALOT.
Hope your holidays were wonderful. I can't wait to get home.
This was not the Christmas I dreamed of, but all I can do is move forward and make next year better.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
I've also started a bad habit late in the game....I've been (sometimes) nursing Whoop Whoop to sleep for his morning nap. He was having such a hard time with the standing in the crib I felt so bad for him...then came the virus last week (they are all better now, it wasn't that bad thank goodness) and now, well, um...
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
We have standing play toys he has been using for a couple of weeks, but he can't sit down at those either. Everyday we 'practice' with him, but he's just too scared to let go (both at the toys and at his crib).
The other afternoon I went in 15 times in their hour nap. He never stayed down, popped right by up by the time I got to the door and was crying again. Another time, I tried to let him CIO, thinking he's going to have to 'get it'. He cried for the hour standing up. Another time he almost fell asleep standing up at the rail but was still softly crying. I've stayed at the crib trying to rub his back and get him sleepy. Sometimes this works, other days it doesn't work. One afternoon I nursed him back to sleep.
Another morning, I tried to nurse him back to sleep--but it didn't work. Another morning I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep completely.
Sometimes he and his brother just stand in their cribs facing each other (the cribs are in an L shape) and yell/play/cry together and no one naps. Sometimes his brother lays down and sleeps through the entire thing.
So far, no answers. Just someone who offered me a pack n play to separate them. That doesn't help! We have no where to put it! (It was a nice offer, though)
Today, we have let W2 CIO for 30 minutes and then Chicken has gone in to rub his back until he goes to sleep. With me, he just lunges for my boobs. He does not sit / lay back down on his own. Ever.
To top it off, he woke up this morning coughing and sneezing with a runny nose.
Tonight, my wonderful wife is cooking me a filet mignon with a red wine mushroom sauce, mashed potatoes with leeks and sauteed spinach with garlic. She is the best. I am going to have a nice glass of wine on the side, skip my last pump and go to bed early (and hope my boobs make it through the night without clogging).
Tomorrow I will wake up (but hopefully not at 4:30am), breathe deep and say a little prayer before facing another day.
It's going to get better. It always does.
Thank you for blog-cheering me on.